Fatigue

10/24/2013

I hate the fact that it is 2:19pm and I’m exhausted. In fact, I hated it even more at 9am this morning when I was exhausted just from getting showered and dressed. I remember when the adrenaline from working in sales would keep me going non-stop. Now, I feel like I need a nap every few hours. It isn’t even hot outside, which usually triggers my fatigue. In fact it’s a perfect, crisp Fall afternoon. Yet here I am back in my apartment, swigging caffeine and trying to ignore the couch that is beckoning me to lie down. I can feel myself fading, but I have to fight it. If I fall asleep now, I’ll only hate myself later. See, I have this really obnoxious, loud voice in my head that loves to tear me down, loves to tell me that I am only imagining my symptoms, and that I use Multiple Sclerosis as an excuse. I look fine, so I should be fine. Falling asleep sounds like heaven, but waking up to that voice in my head will be nothing but hell. I think I’ll make another cup of coffee….

Blogger J

1 Comment

kimberly

11/7/2013 03:45:06 am

i look fine too! but my battle with fatigue has been going on for years now. no one quite understands, although my husband and family try very hard.
i worked a physically demanding job, hiked with my dogs, and went to the gym when i was diagnosed. now, i need medication to get out of bed. i used to think i was just lazy, but i know better now!!!

if you are becoming your own worst enemy, then you are creating a much longer and harder road for yourself. accepting your "own" reality is the only way to start living. and until you quiet that voice in your head, you don't stand a chance. the stress of berating yourself is making the fatigue worse.
what really makes you happy? take a sleep day so that you can build up the energy to enjoy something that you are passionate about. and then the bed becomes a tool (like a wheelchair).

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Fatigue

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